New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
