i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
