its not stalking. its research.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
