I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
