yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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