How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
