You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
