i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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