i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
