There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
