like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
