I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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