Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
