I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize