I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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