Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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