rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
