Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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