I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
