when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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