Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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