It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
