I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize