You just made me feel so damn special
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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