True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
