Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
