i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
