I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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