oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
