I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
