Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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