Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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