If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize