I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
