Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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