good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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