Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
