Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize