okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
