The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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