Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
