I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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