I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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