Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
