Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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