i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
