you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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