Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
love makes seman taste better
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
