Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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