You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
