i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
