Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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