I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
