Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
