I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
