Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize