I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
