i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
