okay pat passed out under dana's car
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
