need another drink. this is the easiest way
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
