If i could tip my vagina, i would.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
